Weary Protest

I'm in the middle of writing a neuropsychological report that is due right now. I feel like quite the delinquent graduate student. And though I joke about this, it can be quite discouraging.

I hate writing reports. I'm not sure why I hate it so, but I do. And as such I'm not only behind on this class assignment, I'm behind on my practicum paperwork, as well. And I get to add another intake to that growing pile of work this Friday. (sigh)

I thought I had something to say when I opened up this new post. Mostly I just felt the need to pour out some sort of complaint or protest or discouragement or weariness that seems to be settling in my spirit.

I have mono. Is it unhealthy that I am not so much distressed by having this illness as I am that it does not seem to be manifesting itself very strongly? People tell me I need to get lots of rest, that many people stay home and sleep for weeks. But for some reason, I'm honestly not sure I feel any different than usual other than a sore throat (even the swollen glands seem to have gone). But I am distressed because "normal" for me is this horrible in between stage of being well enough to continue drudging on, but not well enough to resist the suggestion that it is okay for me to take a 2 hour nap when I should be finishing a report that is due in 5 hours.

I'm a grad student. I'm supposed to be sleep deprived, stressed out, and overwhelmed with work. Right? All my classmates are and I'm pretty sure they do even more work than I do on a weekly basis. And so I believe myself to be a delinquent graduate student and yet I see not how to overcome this flaw.

I don't know where I'm going with this. So I guess I should get back to that report... =/