Avoid All Extremes

So I'm running out of time to mess around. Actually, I ran out of time several months ago, but for whatever reason, I've been ignoring it. I think, and I hope, that I have finally reached the "action" phase of the stages of change. Things must be different. If I am ever going to get my masters, things must change.

The really sad part of this is that this means giving up precious time with the friends I have come to know and love here. In order to gain some sense of control in this situation that appears so hopeless and impossible, I am tempted to say "no more fun." And the truth is, I must say "no" to fun much more often than I have been. But what I really wanted to say here is that I am glad God told me this morning that I needed to go forward for prayer after church today because Mary Beth had exactly the right things to tell me when I told here where I was.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1
"It is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who fears God will avoid all extremes." Ecclesiastes 7:18

I do fear God, or at least I want to fear God. My inclination to drop all fun and pour myself into work flows out of my intention to take things into my own control rather than allowing God to guide me step by step--through the dark uncertainty of it all.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'" Isaiah 30:20-22

This is how I must live. Dependent upon His wisdom to guide me every hour of every day. I must ask Him continually, and listen intently to hear His voice--which direction do I take for this moment, my Guide and Wisdom?

"For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' ... But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh." Galatians 5:13,14,16

Another thing I believe God revealed to me this morning: On the drive to church I was praying about all of this and thinking of Henry Blackaby's message that we experience God by joining Him where He is at work, and I was frustrated thinking, "How can I join you when my time is consumed by school?" But then I thought--God told me?--that God is working in the field of psychology. He is moving His people to study the things of His heart. God's heart is for humility; He is for people humbling themselves before Him and others. So then it is not too far of a stretch to rest in the knowledge that my work on my thesis is in fact joining God in His work on earth. Perhaps not what I would expect or what most would think of as His work, but I do think He can and will use this research for His purposes, His will, making known His heart and ways.

And so I find myself hopeful and gaining peace as I take action to live differently.

One more mountain for Him to move regards my health. I don't think I am exaggerating when I blame a lack of energy and slowness of mind for hindering my progress thus far. That is not the whole of what has hindered me, but it is a hindrance. And I am not sure what to do about that. I pray that God would heal me and restore energy and clear, efficient thought whatever the source of these things. I don't need to know the cause if He desires to simply take it away, but if there is something I can/should be doing to heal my body, I pray for direction and guidance in this.