Life is but a breath

I have never had someone very close to me die. Three of my grandparents have died, but I was not very close with any of them having grown up in different states. Of course it was painful to lose them, but they were not a part of my daily life and it was more or less "time" for them to go, if you will.

Within the past week or so, I--and many others--have faced a number of different deaths. Of course the VT tragedy which for me was not so much a shocking experience as a harsh reminder of broken humanity and a sorrowful time over the many lives that were so unnecessarily lost.

Then earlier this evening, we learned that the son of one my church's pastors died shortly after being delivered by c-section. Many complications were identified early in the pregnancy and we have been praying fervently since then that God would work a miracle and heal little Owen's body. We were hopeful knowing that our God could perform this healing if He was willing. I was not shocked to hear that little Owen had died; I was crestfallen and feel deeply sympathetic for his mom and dad, but not shocked.

Now I am shocked. I got home from dinner with a friend around 11 and listened to a voicemail I had received while out. It was from my advisor's fourth year student which was odd since we're not close friends or anything. She asked me to call back if I got the message before around 11, so I called her back. Our advisor's husband died of a sudden heart attack a day or so ago. Sandy lost her first husband to cancer only a few years ago. She had just remarried this fall. They moved into a beautiful new home together; I was there just 3 weeks ago. I was so happy for her; he was such a kind, sweet man and their love for each other made me smile. To have lost your life partner, lived alone for some time, and then found new love... only to have it taken away so suddenly. I am shocked and grieved. I really cannot believe it. It just seems so senseless.

The VT tragedy was the result of the brokenness, sinfulness, and perverted nature of a young man. But to me, both Owen and Tim's deaths are more difficult to grapple with... Tim's death is shocking because it was unexpected, but both deaths are troubling to me because they are instances where children of God were given reason to hope that they would be receiving and holding onto great gifts--a son, a husband--only to have them taken away after only a moments enjoyment, and taken away by the brokennes of creation rather than of mankind. For some reason, this is harder for me to accept; I suppose because it seems that although I can make some sense of God allowing man to follow his own wicked, selfish ways into the destruction of self and others, why must our physical bodies be broken such that they can lead to the premature destruction of life. And why must God's children of righteousness continue to suffer under this brokenness.

These questions are not new, of course.

I'm hesitant to post this; I'm not quite sure why. But I felt the need to share this difficult news. Please pray for Owen's parents, that God would be a refuge and comfort in their grief, and for our church family as we wrestle with the death of a child we had all hoped would be saved. Please pray for Sandy that she would find herself wrapped in God's loving arms and for her students and myself that we would know how to support her during this painful and confusing time.

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18