Humiliation

My mom jokes with me that maybe I should have picked a different thesis topic because God seems to be giving me more "fieldwork" in the arena of humility than I bargained for.

I really do feel like I have been humiliated over and over again this summer. And I know it is for my good. I know it is breaking through my pride and things I place my identity in other than Christ. But it sure is not fun.

I feel like a star quarterback who got a sweet deal with a good team... only half way through the season, I lost the feeling in my throwing arm. It sort of comes and goes. I can throw, but my consistency, my stamina, my precision, my strength is all just always a bit off--sometimes worse than others. It's discouraging, demoralizing, confusing, sometimes frightening... and I begin to wonder, is this something that is going to go away? Or should I be reconsidering my career options?

So many questions. I am hopeful that God will use this break to strengthen His life in me and to shed light on how He intends to use me--or at least make clear the next step on that path.