Audience of One
Sometimes it's really hard to live for an audience of one. My pride, my self-image, my desire for the approval and respect of people I respect and love--even of strangers--make me feel like I must be doing something wrong even though my God says that I am not. I crave words of approval and acceptance and applause of these new steps I am taking. I wince at words of criticism, doubt, and belittling. What a spoiled, soft little child I am.
I am taking my life too seriously again... I listen too intently when others take it too seriously and then start wondering if I was wrong to start dancing to the music and playing with the songs of life. Only one thing is needed. The only thing I need take seriously is my relationship with my King and Redeemer--to sit at His feet, to love Him, and to delight in Him.
One thing I ask of You, this is what I seek--
That I may dwell in Your house, feel your pleasure wash over me.
One thing I ask of You, this is what I need--
That I may hide in your hands, feel your presence fall over me.
And I am confident of this one thing--
That my eyes will be blessed when they gaze upon your beauty,
And my lips will be sweet when they whisper words of praise,
And my heart will be dancing when it knows that you are with me,
And I will see your goodness in the land of the living.
-Ben and Robin Pasley (Waterdeep)
posted by Jen @ 1:12 PM
1 Comments
1 Comments:
Jen
I found your blog through commenting over at Arnold's. It looks like you are around Perimeter Church at least somewhat. I go to the Gathering. Anyway, I was encouraged by this post. To live before an Audience of One is one of the hardest things for me to do as well.
I also saw some of your thoughts on humility and liked those as well. I loved Andrew Murray's book and wanted to comment breifly about that post you had from March 2007. My favorite quote from that book, maybe of all time, is "It is indeed blessed, the deep happiness of heaven, to be so free from self that whatever is said of us or done to us is lost and swallowed up, in the thought that Jesus is all." I think gospel humility is being self-forgetful. And I agree with you that you do have to have some sense of value before you move on, and that value comes from God. I like to think of it as God-esteem.
Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that I enjoy your thoughts.
David
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