Where Am I Gazing?

I have an interview at PSI tomorrow at 3. I'm doing my best not to get nervous about it. I should be really excited, but I guess I haven't let myself think about it very much in an attempt not to get nervous.

This seems silly to me though because I have no reason not to be excited about the interview. If nothing else, it is a great opportunity to meet an amazing Christian woman who is serving God's kingdom and to learn more about what that all looks like from her eyes. And it's an opportunity for me to share with her where I have been and what God has been teaching me and where I feel He is leading me. And it is simply an opportunity to see if PSI has a need that I can meet. If so, fantastic. If not, then I pray they find someone quickly who can meet their need, and I trust that God will provide new direction.

I trust. I have said, "I trust that God..." innumerable times in my life I am sure. But I find myself of late on the edge of competing perspectives. One says, "I trust God, but, in the meantime, I'm concerned about what people think, I'm anxious about what's going to happen, and I feel the need to go out of my way to make things work to my advantage or to protect myself." The other, a newer perspective says, "I trust God. I can see how He has provided for me even in the darkest of nights. I know that He desires and intends to use me in service for His Kingdom, and I am willing to serve in whatever capacity He so chooses. So here I wait patiently, eager to hear His next assignment, not fearing rejection because 'rejection' is merely a sign pointing me in a better direction."

I want to hold onto that new perspective--that new gaze. I thank God for this new perspective, and I trust that He will give me the strength to fight against the doubts that disrupt the peace of a soul that gazes on a saving God.

Faith is the gaze of a soul upon a saving God. ~A.W. Tozer

The steadfast of mind you will keep in perfect peace because he trusts in you. ~Isaiah 26:3